Hold on to These Things

January 5, 2012

I teach about taking off the masks we wear that cover up our pain and sadness. I am taking off my mask, and being honest with you –getting through the holidays was hard for me. I covered it well with a smile, while inside my heart was splintered with sadness. No matter how much I focused on the birth of Jesus, how busy I was, and how much family and friends filled my days, the absence of my beloved Bill by my side at Christmas was an overwhelming reality of how much I miss his presence in my life. Knowing that I am facing another New Year without him, only intensifies my loss.

You would think after two years, I’d be better at this. Then I remember that we had forty-five years of Christmas and New Years’ together, and it has only been two years since Bill went home to be with the Lord. Cancer no longer reigns, Bill’s body is healed and he stands strong in the presence of Jesus. Then I remember, it’s my loss, not his-in the end, he is the winner. And then I remember again, I’ll never get over losing Bill, but I will get through it.

If you have gone through similar feelings and emotions over the holidays, the thought of facing another year without your loved one might be a little overwhelming for you too. In a stronger moment, I gave some thought to what I want to hold on to in 2012, rather than the typical things I would want to give up. (Who would want to give up chocolate?)

Here’s my list of things I’ll hold on to for 2012:

HOPE in Jesus Christ. He is my rock-solid foundation. I will never, never give up.

TRUST in Jesus Christ. When all else fails, I trust Him for 2012, and for all the days of my life.

FAITH  in Jesus Christ. No matter how hard life gets, my faith gets me through it.

COURAGE. I will conquer my fears.

A PERSEVERING SPIRIT. I will persevere and rise above my circumstances.

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. My attitude affects the way I think, feel, and act. I choose the positive.

A GRATEFUL HEART. I am grateful for being married to Bill Miller for 45 years.

…and of course, I’ll not give up a good cup of coffee, working out at the YMCA, listening to country music, planting flowers in my yard, and eating a whole bag of popcorn at the movies-all of which soothes my soul!

I love you all to the moon and back. Thank you for hanging in there with me in 2011. I’ll hold your hand, and you hold mine. 2012—here we come!

From my heart to yours,