A Roadway in the Wilderness

Isaiah 43:19
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.

Many of you, like me, have had a “wilderness experience” in your life. It’s when uncontrollable circumstances, or a life-changing crisis rocks your world. When you feel like you are aimlessly trying to find your way through a maze of darkness, and just survive–one step at a time. You feel empty, confused, overwhelmed, and desolate.

I know some of your stories, your struggles, your heartaches, and your pain. Your wilderness experience could be with a physical illness, with emotional anguish, with financial hardship, or with a broken relationship. It could be in your marriage or in being single, in your aloneness, or in coping with a loss.

My wilderness experience began on a Sunday morning when the surgeon gave us the news that Bill had an aggressive and rare form of colon cancer that had spread to his liver–and there was nothing they could do. Then, just four months later on a Sunday morning Bill went home to be with the Lord. That was almost three years ago, and there are still days when I struggle to get through the emotions of my loss. I choose daily to put one foot in front of the other and press on.

God made a roadway to survival in my wilderness. In the midst of my sadness, God made a roadway to finding joy. In the midst of my loss, God made a roadway to finding contentment. In the midst of my longing for Bill, God made a roadway to finding peace.

God will provide a roadway in your wilderness, my sisters! Listen to His voice when you feel confused. Learn His word when you need comfort and reassurance. Lean on him when you don’t have all the answers. Rest in Him when you are weary and worn-out. Trust Him when your circumstances overwhelm you.

It’s not always easy, in fact, it’s downright hard some days. There will be times when you feel like you can’t do anything but breathe. But remember this: When God provides a roadway IN the wilderness—He provides a way OUT of the wilderness. He did it for me, He will do it for you.

It is Jesus who will meet you at your point of need. It is Jesus who will soothe your soul, and comfort your heart. It is Jesus who will give you hope to face tomorrow.

Hold on to These Things

January 5, 2012

I teach about taking off the masks we wear that cover up our pain and sadness. I am taking off my mask, and being honest with you –getting through the holidays was hard for me. I covered it well with a smile, while inside my heart was splintered with sadness. No matter how much I focused on the birth of Jesus, how busy I was, and how much family and friends filled my days, the absence of my beloved Bill by my side at Christmas was an overwhelming reality of how much I miss his presence in my life. Knowing that I am facing another New Year without him, only intensifies my loss.

You would think after two years, I’d be better at this. Then I remember that we had forty-five years of Christmas and New Years’ together, and it has only been two years since Bill went home to be with the Lord. Cancer no longer reigns, Bill’s body is healed and he stands strong in the presence of Jesus. Then I remember, it’s my loss, not his-in the end, he is the winner. And then I remember again, I’ll never get over losing Bill, but I will get through it.

If you have gone through similar feelings and emotions over the holidays, the thought of facing another year without your loved one might be a little overwhelming for you too. In a stronger moment, I gave some thought to what I want to hold on to in 2012, rather than the typical things I would want to give up. (Who would want to give up chocolate?)

Here’s my list of things I’ll hold on to for 2012:

HOPE in Jesus Christ. He is my rock-solid foundation. I will never, never give up.

TRUST in Jesus Christ. When all else fails, I trust Him for 2012, and for all the days of my life.

FAITH  in Jesus Christ. No matter how hard life gets, my faith gets me through it.

COURAGE. I will conquer my fears.

A PERSEVERING SPIRIT. I will persevere and rise above my circumstances.

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. My attitude affects the way I think, feel, and act. I choose the positive.

A GRATEFUL HEART. I am grateful for being married to Bill Miller for 45 years.

…and of course, I’ll not give up a good cup of coffee, working out at the YMCA, listening to country music, planting flowers in my yard, and eating a whole bag of popcorn at the movies-all of which soothes my soul!

I love you all to the moon and back. Thank you for hanging in there with me in 2011. I’ll hold your hand, and you hold mine. 2012—here we come!

From my heart to yours,

Facing the unfamiliar

October 18, 2011

I walked in to the conference area and approached the registration table with great hesitation, a little anxiety, and some fear. “What am I doing here?” I thought. “I don’t know these people, and they don’t know me. They don’t know anything about my life.” Even making the decision to be there was difficult. My mind raced with panic, “Will I feel comfortable? Will anyone come over and speak to me? Will everyone be in their own little cliques?”  Several women looked at me and smiled, left their conversations, walked over, put their arms around me, and said,  “Susan, we’d recognize you anywhere!” as they greeted me warmly. That’s all it took for the hesitation, anxiety, and fear to melt away.

My fifty-year High School Reunion had begun. I thoroughly enjoyed reacquainting with high school friends that I had not seen for decades. It was amazing how quickly we filled the gap of years with a bridge of stories to connect our lives once again. It was even more amazing how easy it was to recognize faces that looked familiar and had only aged through circumstances that come with living life so many years.

The feelings and emotions I experienced going into an unknown scenario probably resonates with you in similar situations. I especially think of how hard it is for a newcomer to walk into any room of strangers for the first time. Even coming to a Moving On group, where everyone else is also new, can produce fear and anxiety.

My reunion experience has been a reminder to me to be the first one to acknowledge anyone new, leave my conversation circle, and walk over to greet them warmly. These simple gestures of kindness can melt away or soften the impact of being a newcomer in unfamiliar surroundings. And…who knows if, or when, we might have another high school reunion, but I hold the memory of this one close to my heart, with the thought that maybe, just maybe-I might see these old, but new, friends again.

From my heart to yours,

A life lesson from my daughter’s hand

October 26, 2011

I marvel at the life lessons I learn from my grown children as they teach their children through example. Recently, my daughter shared with me about her experience at the zoo with my youngest grandson, who is six years old. There is an area at the zoo where the children can safely pet the animals – even pet the fish in water. Christian did not hesitate to pet the animals, but fish were a different matter. He wanted to reach in the tank and touch them as they swam by, but was afraid to. So Ginger said that she would put her hand in the water first, and then Christian could put his hand on top of hers, as she guided his hand through the water. That’s all it took to diminish his fear and apprehension.

Together, Ginger and Christian’s hand waved through the water, touching the fish. When Christian tells the story, it’s as if he had touched the fish himself. His security and confidence was in the touch of his mother’s hand.

There are things I‘ve never done before that I would love to do, but sometimes I lack the confidence to try something new, or I am fearful of the unknown. To plunge into new circumstances would take me out of my comfort zone. As Ginger shared this story, I immediately paralleled her hand with the hand of God in my life. When I place my hand on His hand, He guides me safely through the unknown. He protects me and calms my fears when my security and trust lies in Him.

Such a simple lesson, yet so profound. The touch of God’s hand in our lives can enable us to do more than we can imagine!

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us….” Ephesians 3:20

And all God’s people said—AMEN!