A Roadway in the Wilderness
Isaiah 43:19
Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.
Many of you, like me, have had a “wilderness experience” in your life. It’s when uncontrollable circumstances, or a life-changing crisis rocks your world. When you feel like you are aimlessly trying to find your way through a maze of darkness, and just survive–one step at a time. You feel empty, confused, overwhelmed, and desolate.
I know some of your stories, your struggles, your heartaches, and your pain. Your wilderness experience could be with a physical illness, with emotional anguish, with financial hardship, or with a broken relationship. It could be in your marriage or in being single, in your aloneness, or in coping with a loss.
My wilderness experience began on a Sunday morning when the surgeon gave us the news that Bill had an aggressive and rare form of colon cancer that had spread to his liver–and there was nothing they could do. Then, just four months later on a Sunday morning Bill went home to be with the Lord. That was almost three years ago, and there are still days when I struggle to get through the emotions of my loss. I choose daily to put one foot in front of the other and press on.
God made a roadway to survival in my wilderness. In the midst of my sadness, God made a roadway to finding joy. In the midst of my loss, God made a roadway to finding contentment. In the midst of my longing for Bill, God made a roadway to finding peace.
God will provide a roadway in your wilderness, my sisters! Listen to His voice when you feel confused. Learn His word when you need comfort and reassurance. Lean on him when you don’t have all the answers. Rest in Him when you are weary and worn-out. Trust Him when your circumstances overwhelm you.
It’s not always easy, in fact, it’s downright hard some days. There will be times when you feel like you can’t do anything but breathe. But remember this: When God provides a roadway IN the wilderness—He provides a way OUT of the wilderness. He did it for me, He will do it for you.
It is Jesus who will meet you at your point of need. It is Jesus who will soothe your soul, and comfort your heart. It is Jesus who will give you hope to face tomorrow.
I found the magic place…
…who would have thought it would be the trampoline?
While visiting my family in Atlanta, my nine-year-old granddaughter, Morgan, asked me to watch her jump on the trampoline. When one of my grandchildren asks me to enter into their world, I seize the moment.
When my children were growing up, I didn’t always do that. Often, I was either too busy to stop and watch, too rushed to slow down and listen, or too preoccupied with my own agenda to take the time. Life lessons often come from being older, making mistakes along the way, and hopefully becoming wiser through it all.
“I’m coming, Morgan!” I said. I put my computer down, and the thoughts that went with it, left my glass of iced tea, walked down the steps from my spot on the deck, and walked over to the trampoline in the side yard. I stood there and watched her jump and bounce and laugh and giggle. Then she plopped down and laid on her back – arms and legs stretched out.
Without giving it a second thought (and much to Morgan’s surprise), I climbed up on the trampoline and bounced a little (not jumped). She quickly stood up, we held hands, and continued to bounce together for a few minutes. Then we plopped down, laid on our backs, and looked up at the sky. The sun glistened through the trees. One passing cloud was the only movement from above. The only sounds around us were the birds that seemed to be singing in perfect harmony. Then we started to talk and talk and laugh and giggle—together.
The work on my computer was still there when I came back to my spot on the deck. The ice in my tea had melted. Yet, none of that really mattered. What I will remember is that I found the magic place that day, and climbed into my granddaughter’s world. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord….
Susan Miller
Standing in line at the check-out counter
When I am standing in line at the check-out counter, the magazine covers and article titles are a stark reality of what the world would have me buy into, and believe, about how to look, how to behave, what to buy, and what to wear. (Sometimes the only positive thing I see is the emphasis on eating healthy!) The sad thing for me is that so many of us, our daughters, and granddaughters, are buying into this advertising as an accepted way of life.
Every time I’m waiting in line with the magazine covers screaming “pick me,” I am reminded of the source of my identity, my self-worth, and my confidence. These things come from Jesus Christ, not from what I see and hear in the magazines and advertisements. I refuse to buy into what the world would have me believe, but choose to believe what the word of God tells me about who I am.
Yes, I want to know the latest trends in fashion just like everyone else. (Although I have learned over the years that everything that’s trendy doesn’t always look good on me, or is appropriate, even if it is “in” or popular.) Of course, I want tips on how to look my best for my age, height, and weight. I’m always looking for a bargain, so naturally I want to know where and what is the best buy. However, none of these things is who I am. They may help pull me together on the outside, but it’s what’s going on inside that reflects my confidence and self-worth.
I’ll be honest with you, it took me a lot of years to figure this out. I think we all go through stages in life where we get wrapped up in the wrong identity for any number of reasons. I know I certainly did. Then, as I became more secure and confident in my relationship with Jesus over the years, I began to dress myself in the identity of Christ.
Perhaps you are at a crossroad of belief in yourself right now. You stand at the check-out counter on the brink of choosing a magazine that you think will make a difference in how you look, or feel about yourself. Oh, go ahead and buy it, it will make for a good read—just don’t “buy into” it. Instead, choose Jesus for your role-model, and “buy into” His word. His truth about who you are will make a life-changing difference in defining your identity, from the inside, out.
Lessons learned from a bouquet of little white flowers
by Susan Miller
I marvel at how anything can grow in the rocks in my front yard! Yet, this time every year, a cluster of narcissus sprout through the rocks, their green stalks begin to grow tall, and the multitude of buds become a bouquet of little white flowers. As I pull out of my driveway day after day, I watch them emerge over time in all their glory and much to my pleasure. It’s as if they mark their spot, right by the sidewalk, for anyone walking or driving by to see the display of their mighty accomplishment. Ironic thing is, I didn’t plant them, I don’t water them, or give them any special attention. In fact, I even forget about them when their blooms are spent, and their stalks turn brown and wither up.
Being a word picture person, I can’t help but see the parallel between how we can grow through our circumstances in life, just like a flower can grow through the rocks of its environment. Sometimes, against all odds, God will use the hard, rocky places in our lives to grow us so that others might see the splendor of His glory. Only God can make something beautiful out of what we think is an impossible situation.
This is a reminder to me how God uses the desolate places in my heart, and the unimaginable circumstances in my life for me to grow and, in spite of all odds, even bloom. When I feel withered and spent, His faithfulness nourishes the depths of my soul. When I feel forgotten, He reminds me I am clustered in Him, and never alone. When I am spiritually dry, His word continues to pour renewed hope into my life.
Today, when I pulled out of my driveway, and drove by my cluster of blooming narcissus, I was reminded of one more life-changing thing—God’s redeeming love flourishes.
A Big Fat Heart
In describing our love for our grandchildren, I would draw a big fat heart on paper and tell them that papa’s love filled one side, my love filled the other side, and that our heart was overflowing with love for all six of them perched in the middle. Somehow, that visual would always bring a smile to their little faces. They seemed to get the correlation between heart and love.
With February being the designated month for Valentine’s Day, love is expressed through hearts, cards, chocolates, flowers, and other visual ways of saying, “I love you.” You and I get it. The commercialism of love is all around us – for a month. Then all the red hearts and terms of endearment displayed in stores disappear and make way for the yellows and greens of spring.
What if you and I treated every month, or day, like a Valentine’s Day? What if you and I drew a big fat heart and filled it with people we love, and then were intentional about expressing that love, all year long, through random acts of kindness? I’ll just bet that you can come up with some different ways to express “I love you,” “you mean so much to me,” or “I’m so thankful you’re in my life,” to a spouse, a family member, or a friend. And…I’ll just bet there’s enough love in your heart for all of them!
If you are like me, sometimes you need a little creative prompting. If you have some ideas, send them to me, and I’ll post them. In the meantime, here are a few of my practical suggestions:
Take time to be with one another. The busyness of life can be one of your greatest distractions in marriage and friendship. Don’t overlook the obvious–time is a gift.
See a need? Fill it! Whether your spouse, family, or friend needs a helping hand, be there for them.
Send a card with a personal note. Share what they mean to you, or why you love them. (Even an e-mail or text will convey that you took a moment to think of them.)
Do the unexpected. Anyone can do the obvious, but what about the fun of a surprise!
Give a gift without ribbons. We all love to get a store-bought gift, wrapped with pretty ribbons. You can also give a gift of something you do, or make yourself, like flowers from your yard, or homemade cookies. (I call this a “gift without ribbons.”)
Speak words of encouragement, affirmation, or praise. So simple to do, but so often left undone. The power of words can build up, or tear down. Be a “builder” for those you love.
Be their cheerleader! Everyone needs someone to cheer them on in life—to be all they can be, or do what might seem impossible. Be that someone.
Life is too short to miss the moment to express our love for one another. Let’s not only say “I love you” this month, but the month after, and the month after that….
From My Heart to yours!
Hold on to These Things
January 5, 2012
I teach about taking off the masks we wear that cover up our pain and sadness. I am taking off my mask, and being honest with you –getting through the holidays was hard for me. I covered it well with a smile, while inside my heart was splintered with sadness. No matter how much I focused on the birth of Jesus, how busy I was, and how much family and friends filled my days, the absence of my beloved Bill by my side at Christmas was an overwhelming reality of how much I miss his presence in my life. Knowing that I am facing another New Year without him, only intensifies my loss.
You would think after two years, I’d be better at this. Then I remember that we had forty-five years of Christmas and New Years’ together, and it has only been two years since Bill went home to be with the Lord. Cancer no longer reigns, Bill’s body is healed and he stands strong in the presence of Jesus. Then I remember, it’s my loss, not his-in the end, he is the winner. And then I remember again, I’ll never get over losing Bill, but I will get through it.
If you have gone through similar feelings and emotions over the holidays, the thought of facing another year without your loved one might be a little overwhelming for you too. In a stronger moment, I gave some thought to what I want to hold on to in 2012, rather than the typical things I would want to give up. (Who would want to give up chocolate?)
Here’s my list of things I’ll hold on to for 2012:
HOPE in Jesus Christ. He is my rock-solid foundation. I will never, never give up.
TRUST in Jesus Christ. When all else fails, I trust Him for 2012, and for all the days of my life.
FAITH in Jesus Christ. No matter how hard life gets, my faith gets me through it.
COURAGE. I will conquer my fears.
A PERSEVERING SPIRIT. I will persevere and rise above my circumstances.
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. My attitude affects the way I think, feel, and act. I choose the positive.
A GRATEFUL HEART. I am grateful for being married to Bill Miller for 45 years.
…and of course, I’ll not give up a good cup of coffee, working out at the YMCA, listening to country music, planting flowers in my yard, and eating a whole bag of popcorn at the movies-all of which soothes my soul!
I love you all to the moon and back. Thank you for hanging in there with me in 2011. I’ll hold your hand, and you hold mine. 2012—here we come!
From my heart to yours,
Facing the unfamiliar
October 18, 2011
I walked in to the conference area and approached the registration table with great hesitation, a little anxiety, and some fear. “What am I doing here?” I thought. “I don’t know these people, and they don’t know me. They don’t know anything about my life.” Even making the decision to be there was difficult. My mind raced with panic, “Will I feel comfortable? Will anyone come over and speak to me? Will everyone be in their own little cliques?” Several women looked at me and smiled, left their conversations, walked over, put their arms around me, and said, “Susan, we’d recognize you anywhere!” as they greeted me warmly. That’s all it took for the hesitation, anxiety, and fear to melt away.
My fifty-year High School Reunion had begun. I thoroughly enjoyed reacquainting with high school friends that I had not seen for decades. It was amazing how quickly we filled the gap of years with a bridge of stories to connect our lives once again. It was even more amazing how easy it was to recognize faces that looked familiar and had only aged through circumstances that come with living life so many years.
The feelings and emotions I experienced going into an unknown scenario probably resonates with you in similar situations. I especially think of how hard it is for a newcomer to walk into any room of strangers for the first time. Even coming to a Moving On group, where everyone else is also new, can produce fear and anxiety.
My reunion experience has been a reminder to me to be the first one to acknowledge anyone new, leave my conversation circle, and walk over to greet them warmly. These simple gestures of kindness can melt away or soften the impact of being a newcomer in unfamiliar surroundings. And…who knows if, or when, we might have another high school reunion, but I hold the memory of this one close to my heart, with the thought that maybe, just maybe-I might see these old, but new, friends again.
From my heart to yours,
A life lesson from my daughter’s hand
October 26, 2011
I marvel at the life lessons I learn from my grown children as they teach their children through example. Recently, my daughter shared with me about her experience at the zoo with my youngest grandson, who is six years old. There is an area at the zoo where the children can safely pet the animals – even pet the fish in water. Christian did not hesitate to pet the animals, but fish were a different matter. He wanted to reach in the tank and touch them as they swam by, but was afraid to. So Ginger said that she would put her hand in the water first, and then Christian could put his hand on top of hers, as she guided his hand through the water. That’s all it took to diminish his fear and apprehension.
Together, Ginger and Christian’s hand waved through the water, touching the fish. When Christian tells the story, it’s as if he had touched the fish himself. His security and confidence was in the touch of his mother’s hand.
There are things I‘ve never done before that I would love to do, but sometimes I lack the confidence to try something new, or I am fearful of the unknown. To plunge into new circumstances would take me out of my comfort zone. As Ginger shared this story, I immediately paralleled her hand with the hand of God in my life. When I place my hand on His hand, He guides me safely through the unknown. He protects me and calms my fears when my security and trust lies in Him.
Such a simple lesson, yet so profound. The touch of God’s hand in our lives can enable us to do more than we can imagine!
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us….” Ephesians 3:20
And all God’s people said—AMEN!
Sold out for the military
November 7, 2011
My father served 30 years in the Air Force during World War II and the Korean War, so the militarylifestyle was all I knew growing up. Then I met, and married Bill while he was serving in the Air Force during the Vietnam War. So needless to say, I am completely sold out for the military!
The 200 women who came to the West Region PWOC Military Conference in Seattle two weeks ago totally stole my heart, mind, and emotions. It is a tremendous privilege to be on the front lines of life with the wives and moms who keep the home fires burning, while their husbands, (or as many call them, “my soldier”) serve and protect our country. These women are my heroes, many of whom live with fear of what tomorrow might bring, but push through each day with perseverance and determination to rise above their circumstances.
I met two extraordinary young moms who attended both of my workshops for an entire morning. They are close friends and from the same military base in New Mexico. Their husbands are pilots of a new “Search and Rescue” plane in the Air Force. Not only are the men good friends too, but they are pilots on the same plane. The women shared with me how proud their husbands are of their new plane and the mission they are trained to do. That same sense of pride flowed through both women. Who knows where a mission, or circumstances, will take their husbands, how many men and women they will rescue, or what their future holds. Yet, these two young moms, strong believers in Jesus Christ, rely on their faith and trust in God each time their men fly on a mission together.
This is only one of the many stories that I hear about, listen to, talk through, and pray over. Many times, the tears flow-and just holding a young woman as she cries is enough. It is Jesus who will meet these women at their point of need. It is Jesus who will soothe their soul, and comfort their hearts. It is Jesus who gives hope to face tomorrow. He has done that for me, He will do that same thing for them.
My bags are packed, my emotional tank is filled, my arms are open, and I’m ready to once again embrace the women I meet at the Southeast Region Conference in North Carolina this week. I’d like to think I’m a soldier for the Lord. My mission: just showing up and serving Him!
Stay thoughtful
November 29, 2011
Stay Thoughtful
Every morning when I turn off the alarm clock, I glance over at a little pad of post-notes sitting on my bedside table that are imprinted with two words: Stay Thoughtful. Every morning these two words start my day. They are a gentle reminder of what I should already know. “Stay thoughtful today, Susan, in what you say, and in what you do.” It doesn’t say, Be Thoughtful, or Try to Be Thoughtful, orRemember to Be Thoughtful, as if to imply something I should do; rather, it reminds me who I am.
Then my mind begins to expand to other ways to stay: Stay Kind, Stay Joyful, Stay Peaceful, Stay Compassionate, Stay Loving, Stay Content… and the list goes on and on. The obvious becomes so clear to me, “You are these things when your focus stays on Jesus, and stays on living out His word!”
Oh Lord, with the Christmas Season approaching, and all the distractions of commercialism and things that can so easily rob me of reflecting YOU, may I ever be mindful to Stay Thoughtful in the busyness of the season, Stay Kind in my interaction with people,Stay Joyful even when I don’t feel joy, Stay Peaceful in the midst of holiday chaos, Stay Compassionate with those less fortunate than I am, Stay Loving to those who are unlovable, and Stay Content in my circumstances.
I think it’s a good idea to start my day with this prayer right next to my post-notes, don’t you?
